


Merciless Souls

by orphan_account



Category: Cegan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Carl is a Little Shit, Carl is a demon, Cegan, Childhood Trauma, Corruption of souls, Demon AU, Don't Like Don't Read, Even demon have issues, F/M, Judith is our little angel, Lucifer is a Little Shit, M/M, Maggie is a badass mom, Manipulation, Negan Being Negan, Negan x Carl, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pacts with the devil, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, The power of souls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:59:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10346511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Carl Grimes knows how risky it is to get attached to someone's soul. It never happened to him, but he was warned about it. He had spent all the time avoiding to look at people's souls --even if he did looked at them, sometimes-- he never felt nothing. Until now that he found a particular soul, one that is almost as rotten as his.





	1. An order

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna thank my beloved friend @why-do-i-ship-this for being my beta reader for the first chapter, and @at-least-cry-a-little for giving me permission to write this.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl made a deal with someone he shouldn't have, and know he has to do what the devil says, because it's an order.

Time was passing by, following its natural course. It was early in the morning, but people were already moving about, walking around Alexandria’s streets. Some people seemed nervous, but everyone was still fulfilling their duties, still doing what they were supposed to be doing.

 

Except for him.

 

Carl was in his sister’s room, looking for the gun his father had hidden there. He searched through every drawer, pulled back every curtain, but the gun was nowhere to be found.

 

“Boy,  _ why _ is it so hard for you to do  _ ONE _ damn thing?”

 

There was  _ that _ voice again.  _ His _ voice. It was  _ him _ again, coming to give Carl more problems. ‘It hasn't even been a  _ week _ ,’ the teen thought to himself frustratedly.

 

“The gun isn't here,”  _ he _ said flippantly, and Carl turned to face  _ him _ . “If you weren't such a damn bitch about using the abilities I gave you, you would have known that.”

 

“What do you want?” the boy asked, gritting his teeth. “Don't you have other people to bother?”

 

“Bite your tongue before I rip it out, Carlton,”  _ he  _ hissed, no longer bothering with the faux-friendly tone. “I am  **not** one of the weak bags of meat you call friends.”

 

Carl sighed, rolling his eyes.

 

‘Lucifer; such good company,’ he thought sarcastically. Then, biting his lip, he reminded himself, ‘But he’s a necessary evil.’

 

“Bedsides, you don't need the gun. Another bullet wound wouldn’t kill you,” Lucifer said, smiling in what Carl assumed he thought was an encouraging way; though with the devil’s razor sharp teeth and subtly forked tongue, it just seemed creepy more than anything else.

 

“There will be more than just one dude aiming at me,” the teen argued.

 

“Stop being a coward and go,” Lucifer said harshly. “I didn't ask for your opinion, I gave you an order.”

 

Carl hesitated. He wanted to tell the devil to fuck off and just let him live in the apocalyptic world in peace--if what he did could be called living--but the thought immediately when he saw what Lucifer was doing.

 

The man was leaning over Judith's crib, the baby sleeping soundly without knowing how close she was to the one and only devil. Carl's heart stopped for what looked like an eternity when Lucifer touched his sister’s hair, taking some strands of it away from her face.

 

“What an innocent little thing” He said, smiling with fake innocence, as if he meant words. Carl saw his eyes turning black “You should see her soul, Carlton, is pure gold, I almost want you to fail so I could take her right now”

 

There was it, that hidden threat about what would happen if he failed or argued about fulfilling the duties he had as his part of the deal. One of them was getting Negan's trust, he didn't wanted that, he wanted to kill Negan, to make him suffer and be there to laugh and make snarky comments as he did when he killed Abraham, took Daryl and then killed Glenn. But it wasn't his decision, it came from a higher power --Lucifer.

 

“Carl.”

 

Michonne came into the room and Carl almost jumped in place. He glanced at her and then back at the crib, Lucifer wasn't there anymore.

 

“Are you okay?” the woman asked him, Carl nodded in response “I'm gonna go look for supplies and-”

 

“My dad already went to do that” Carl reminded Michonne, interrupting her in the process.

 

“I'll go to the other side, we're not sure if he'll come back with enough things for…” This time, Michonne cut herself “ I'll be back before it gets dark.”

 

It was a lie, it wasn't needed to be a genius to know it. Michonne was lying, she wasn't going to look for supplies. The woman stared at him intently, as if she wanted to make sure he believed her.

 

“I'll leave, anyway” he responded, not giving any kind of information.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Out” he was going to stop talking there, but he felt bad for the woman who was now like a mom for him and his sister “I'll leave Judith with Olivia.”

 

Car knew he was being unfair with Michonne --with her and his dad-- when he refused to tell them where he went and what he did, but they didn't understood how much was in risk if he didn't made what he was supposed to. All of their lives --each person that meant something for Carl-- were in danger if he dared to argue with Lucifer's demands.

 

He waited for Michonne to leave and kissed his sister's forehead before leaving her at Olivia’s charge.

 

When he was heading to the gates and thinking about an excuse to go out, he noticed Enid climbing one of the walls. Carl went to where she was, they argued about what she was doing, Carl pretended to be offended and hurt by something she said and then let her go saying he wasn't saving her anymore. He smiled when she lost sight of her, that was it, the perfect excuse.

 

He left Alexandria and took a car, driving to find Enid and take her to Hilltop. Another perfect excuse to go there, Carl knew that the saviours would probably be there, he had memorized the days they went to take supplies from the different groups, it hadn't been that hard.

 

Negan's man would get to The Kingdom on Monday, take what was theirs and subsist with it until Wednesday, when they would arrive to Alexandria --he was in doubt with this one because for some reason they hadn't gone to get their half of everything that week--. Then, on Friday, they would go to the Hilltop. If his calendar didn't failed him, it was Friday.

 

He felt slight stupid when he left Enid by the gates and then went into one of the trucks, hiding while they got everything in and coming out when they left, only to see that the Jesus guy --he didn't knew his real name-- had jumped into the truck too.

 

Carl wanted to laugh because of how ironic everything was. The guy --who really looked like the image religion had of Jesus-- trying to have a conversation and work together with him --who represented the complete opposite--. He could hear Lucifer's laugh in his mind. Wait, it wasn't in his mind, he was really hearing it, the guy was sitting on the truck's roof.

 

“99 bottles of beer on the wall~” he heard Lucifer singing and wanted to rip his own ears off. Sometimes --like right now-- he envied normal people, who couldn't see or hear the man.

 

His body moved abruptly when the truck jumped and he hit his back against the edge of a box. Lucifer was still singing and Jesus was trying to get him to listen to the plan he had.

 

It was going to be a long ass ride.

 

***

 

“Woo-hoo, that guy is crazy!”

 

Carl had ignored Lucifer's words, he was looking in surprise at the figure of Jesus jumping off the truck and rolling on the pavement. That hurt for sure, but Jesus got up and ran to hide as if he had done that a lot of times.

 

The boy thought about it for a moment --jumping behind him and hiding--, but something told him that he couldn't do that, he had to go find Negan, he still wasn't sure what he was going to do.

 

He hid again and when the truck stopped, Carl felt his blood rushing on his veins at a velocity he was sure wasn't healthy. His eye went wide when he saw that there were guns --big guns-- in a box. He grabbed one of them and made sure it had bullets just in the moment that a man got in the truck to unload the truck and noticed his presence.

  
Now he was sure why he was there for, he was going to kill Negan and anyone who tried to get on his way. Without thinking much, he pointed the gun at the man and pulled the trigger.


	2. It's showtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl sneaks in the sanctuary, or something like that. His plans take another direction as he gets a tour and a lot of weird conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my bae, who beta reader this and made sure it was decent enough for your precious eyes.

It had really been unexpected.   
  
Negan had been walking around one of the compound's lowest levels, intimidating their new acquisitions just for the pleasure of doing so. He had been about to go to Daryl’s cell to see if the man was finally going to break, when he heard the shots that came from outside.   
  
He turned on his heel and started walking to the closest exit with some of his men, everyone looking confused and slightly worried.

 

Fat Joey came in and Negan had to admit he had never seen a fat person run that fast. The man stopped, panting and sweating in front of him.

 

“What the hell is going on?” Negan asked, not worrying about how the man coughed until he managed to breath normally.

 

“S-sir, there's a- a  _ boy  _ in one of the trucks!” Fat Joey took a deep, nasal breath.

“He shot Bobby and is threatening the others!”

 

Negan rushed out, wanting to know exactly what the hell was going on.

 

“Nobody move. I only want Negan, he killed my friends.” He heard someone saying, and it took him a moment to recognize the voice.

 

_ ‘You should go. Before you find out how dangerous we all are.’ _

 

He looked up when he heard more shots and saw one of his men fall to the ground.He looked up almost in shock, seeing the boy with the gun.

 

It was Rick's fucking kid.

 

***

 

Carl felt as if he was in an action movie.

 

The adrenaline made everything look as if it were in slow motion, he had shot a man down, pointed at everyone else, said his conditions, and when another man dared to try play hero and get to him, he shot him too.

 

Without the people noticing the distraction, Carl glanced down at the two bodies and couldn't help his lips raising slightly on what was trying to be a smile. It was going to become one, but it turned into a frown when someone started whistling.

 

“Damn kid, I have to admit, you scare the hell out of me!”

 

Carl clenched his teeth when he recognized Negan's voice and was about to shoot, not caring that the man was using another guy as a human shield, when someone tackled him.

 

Both, Carl and the guy with half of his face burned, fell to the ground and Carl tried to reach the gun, but the man kicked it away and pressed his knee against Carl's back to keep him in place. Then, Carl felt him take his knife and growled at him, he  _ literally _ growled.

 

“Dwighty boy, that's no way to treat our guest” He heard Negan say and looked up at him when Dwight moved away.

 

The saviour's leader was stretching an arm for him to grab, and after hesitating for a moment, Carl accepted the help.

 

When he grabbed Negan's hand, he felt a sensation of warmth he hadn't felt in a long time. Even with Negan wearing leather gloves -the ones that bikers wear-, Carl was able to feel the warm of the man's hands. He pulled away when he felt that he had been touching the man's hand for too long and looked back at the crowd, a man was checking if his targets were alive. Carl smiled when he saw a small pool of blood coming out of one of them.

 

“Someone clean this mess up while I take our little guest for a walk.” Negan said and Carl found himself being pushed along with the man's hand on the small of his back.

 

When Negan said he was going to ‘take him for a walk’, Carl had thought that the saviours’ leader was just going to take him to some other place and bash his head in with his bat. He discarded the idea when he noticed that the man didn't have his bat with him, but that didn't mean Negan wasn't going to kill him, he still had a knife and Carl was thinking if he would be fast enough to take it and cut the man's throat.

 

He ended up discarding that idea too. Now that he didn't have a gun, killing Negan would mean him getting killed too, and it wasn't worth it.

 

Carl was surprised when the man did take him for a walk, it hadn't been some excuse to take him away from the crowd. Negan showed him some of the different levels of the compound. From the level where everyone was working and kneeled in front of the man, to the wives’ room -Carl couldn't believe Negan had _wives,_ as in plural, but he didn't let that impress him too much-.

 

Unfortunately, Negan didn't take him back outside after that and Carl wasn't going to admit that he was slightly nervous being alone in a room with the man, but he didn't let it show. He followed Negan into what was now obviously the man's room, it was surprisingly elegant, it looked like a room that belonged to an important person, decorated like those houses you always saw in magazines. Carl had heard once that you can see how egocentric a person is by how they decorate their room, and a king sized bed, couches and a red carpet -which looked like no one had ever stepped on it- already said much about Negan.

 

“Take a seat kid, make yourself at home.” Negan told him and Carl went to sit on one of the couches, still looking around the room.

 

Negan sat in front of him, looking him up and down as if he was trying to see through him.

 

“I have to admit, kid, you really surprised me out there,” Negan said, but then frowned.

“I can't- I can't do it, it's like talking to a birthday present. Take that shit off.”

 

“What?” Carl said, taken aback by Negan's demand

“I'm not gonna-”

 

“TWO FUCKING MEN, KID!”

The boy's whole body jumped when Negan yelled 

“You have to give me something in exchange, now unwrap that shit, I wanna see what grandma got me.”

 

Carl clenched his teeth, but did as Negan told him. He raised his hands and grabbed the bandage, starting to unwrap it until he finally managed to take it off. His head was tilted to the front in a way that made his hair fall over the open wound.

 

“Pull your fucking hair away, do you think I can see through it?” Negan said, and Carl wanted to get up and punch him in the face, but a silhouette standing beside him reminded him he couldn't do that. He was here for a reason.

 

Hesitantly, he pulled his hair away and looked up at Negan, watching as the man went wide eyed.

 

“Ho-ly shit! That's the nastiest thing I've seen!” Was the first thing the man said.

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror? I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, it's disgusting.”

 

Carl felt hurt and offended, it was literally the snarkiest comment he had heard about his face thus far, but he wasn't going to let it affect him. Then he got an idea.

 

He let a sob escape his lips, it was a quiet and small sound, but it was enough to make Negan shut up. There was silence after the sob, just silence and the sound of Negan straightening on the couch.

 

“Shit, I'm sorry,” He said, and Carl looked up, surprised for how honest those words sounded. “It's easy to forget you're… just a kid.”

 

The look of regret and uncomfortability Negan had made Carl feel…regret? 

Was he regretting sobbing on purpose just because the man looked serious when he apologized? Of course not. He didn't feel bad for making Negan feel bad, the guy deserved it.

 

“Forget it.” He told him, his voice shaky in an attempt to make Negan feel worse.

 

Soon after, someone knocked at the door and Negan yelled at the person to come in. Carl turned -since he was giving his back to the entrance- and gave the man that had just came in an odd look when he noticed the barbed wire bat in his hands.

 

“Sir, you left Lucille in the truck.” The man said.

 

“And you bought her all the way here? Damn!” Negan was smiling now and he glanced down at Carl. 

“You see that boy? Respect.”

 

Carl said nothing and Negan started asking the man if he had been nice to the bat -and other things Carl preferred to ignore, as they had been really uncomfortable to hear.-

 

When the man left and Carl ended up alone with Negan again he made awkward eye contact with the man, who was looking at him in a thoughtful way.

 

“You know what, I want you to sing me a song.” The saviours’ leader said out of nowhere.

Carl stared at him, hoping it was a  joke.

 

“I don't know any...”

 

The teen sat straight when Negan got up and stood in front of him, the bat -With the name Carl had already forgotten- pointing at his face.

 

“Start. Singing.” Negan demanded and walked a few steps away.

 

“You are my sunshine…” He started, trying to force himself to remember the lyrics.

“...My only sunshine-”

 

He stuttered to a stopped when Negan swung the bat hard, like he had done when he smashed Glenn's head into bits.

 

“ _ Don't  _ let me distract you, young man!” Negan told him with an scolding tone.

 

Carl kept singing, managing to remember the first part of the song that, now he thought about it, maybe he had heard Beth singing to Judith, or maybe someone else singing to their kids. There was no possibility it had been his mom who sang it to him. Lori wasn't the kind of mom that sings lullabies to her kids.

 

He kept singing and felt his voice cracking when he got to the end. Now that he thought about it, that song was sad as hell.

Carl looked up to see Negan had stopped swinging his bat around, walking back to the couch in front of him.

 

“That was beautiful, Lucille loves songs,” The man hummed.

“Your mom sing that to you? Where’s she now?”

 

Carl stayed silent, looking at the man in a way that made it clear he didn't want to talk about it.

 

“Dead, huh? Saw it happen?”

 

“I shot her before she could…” He decided to leave it there, not wanting to give much detail, but saying it was enough for the man to understand.

 

“Damn, no doubt you're a little serial killer in the making,” Negan pat his own knee and got up abruptly, making Carl stiffen for a moment, thinking Negan would attack him or something.

“Get up kid, you came just in time to see the show.”

 

“What show?” Carl asked, curiosity winning him over.

 

“My favorite show in this whole place,” Negan said, a grin on his face.

“ _ The iron _ .”


	3. A ride back home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan takes Carl to see the iron, but what happens after that is unexpected for him. Carl gets a ride home and more trouble.

Negan let the boy wrap his face to go see the iron, he didn't like watching the kid dress up like a mummy, but he knew his men were some snarky assholes and would comment about it if he didn’t. He could be an asshole, but he didn't want them to make Carl feel like shit.

 

If anyone was going to break Grimes' kid, it was going to be him and just him.

 

He took Carl to one of the lower levels, where the industrial ovens were, and smiled at the boy's surprised look when he saw all his people there. He noticed that it looked like the kid was counting the heads in the crowd.

 

“These aren’t even half my men, kid, just the ones I need to make a point with,” He whispered as they walked into the center of the crowd. “Don't waste time counting.”

 

Once they were in front of one of the ovens, he handed Lucille to Carl and made him stay beside Daryl and Simon, he gave his second in command a look that he already knew meant ‘don't let them approach each other’, so now Simon was between them.

 

Mark was already kneeling in the middle, Dwight preparing the iron. Everyone looking at him, waiting, just waiting because they knew what he was going to say was important.

 

‘Let's start this show’ Negan thought, smiling unkindly.

 

He gave the same speech as the other times, this time using Matt’s subject; fucking one of his wives, to make a point about how rules were important to keep them safe and bring civilization back to the world. In his mind, he was just thinking  _ blah blah blah,  _ since he had had to repeat it so many times that it was almost robotic.

 

When Dwight handed him the iron, the room went silent and Negan's smile got wider, knowing he had everyone's eyes on him, he felt like some popular asshole at prom, everyone's attention drawn to him. The only difference was that in place of a pretty girl, he had a mourning asshole on his knees, waiting to get his deserved punishment.

 

It smelled like barbecue when he burnt Matt's face, Negan almost wanted to take in more of that scent, but he wasn't that sadistic and he wasn't there to enjoy it, he was doing his job as their fair leader.

 

He waited for a long second before finally pulling the iron away from the man's face, he was about to tell everyone to leave, but first, he made a snarky comment about how Matt had pissed himself.

 

“Take this bitch with Carson and make someone clean this shit up.” Negan ordered Dwight and then walked to be beside Carl, not paying attention to the look Daryl gave him.

 

“You saw that, kid?” He asked, close to the boy's ear.

 

Negan frowned when he saw no expression in Carl’s face, he was staring at Matt, like everyone else, but he didn't looked disgusted or scared about what he had seen, he looked like he was studying the situation, almost as if taking mental notes.

 

“Come on, kid, let's go back to the room.” He said, grabbing Carl by the shoulder and making him turn and walk.

 

He walked Carl back to the room. The saviour's leader was still waiting for a reaction from the boy. People always reacted differently when they saw the show, most of them normally went pale, shocked, some of them even puked. But the only thing that he saw on Carl's eyes was curiosity, followed by a suspicious and thoughtful look.

 

He made Carl unwrap his face again, this time the boy didn't argued as much, but he still bitched about it. The fucking punk even dared to roll his eye at him as he unwrapped the bandages but Negan let it pass.

 

“I'll think about what I'll do with you, but first,” He said, going back to his seat, leaving Lucille at his side and grabbing the agenda he had beside the leather couch. “I gotta make sure everything is in place.”

 

In that agenda he had everything that he got from every community, depending on it.

He made sure that things were fair. He could use Hilltop’s case as an example, they sent him more food than medicine, so next time he would send his men to gather more medicine than food. Alexandria's case was different, last one had been their first tribute, so they took half of everything.

 

“Can I wrap my face now?” The boy asked him. 

 

Really? Nothing about the iron? Or even about the book? Well, Negan could still work with that.

 

“No, you absolutely can  _ not”  _ He responded, and he knew there must have been a scolding look on his face.

 

“Why the hell not?!”

 

Negan's eyes went wide when the boy snapped and him, he couldn't help but smile even wider.

 

“Look at this badass,” He hummed chuckling “You can't because I'm not done with you, and I like looking at your disgusting, radass, badass eye, so it's staying out.”

 

They stared at one another in silence for almost half a minute.

 

“What, you got something to say?” He asked the boy, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Why haven't you kill me, or my dad, or Daryl?”

 

Finally! That was a good question. One that was worth answering.

 

“Daryl, he’s gonna make a good soldier for me,” He said, smiling fading for the first time.

“Your dad, he's already getting me great stuff.”

 

He made a small pause, just wanting to make things harder for the boy.

 

“You, on the other hand… well, we shall see.” He searched for fear in the boy's eye, there was none.

“ ‘More productive to break you, more fun too,” still, no fear “You thinkin’ that’s stupid?”

 

“I thinking we’re different.”

 

Negan hummed, not knowing if he should take that as a compliment or as an insult. But he was sure that the boy was being honest, he looked like they both really were different. He leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

 

“You're a smart, kid,” He conceded.

“What do you think I should do? You know I can't let you go… So, do I kill you? Iron your face? Chop off your arm?” He was starting to get pissed about the boy not showing any kind of fear or intimidation. “Tell me what do you think.”

 

Out of nowhere, Carl stood and approached him, never breaking eye contact.

 

“I think you should jump out the window to save me the trouble of killing you.”

 

Okay, that was a threat and Negan shouldn't be smiling, but God, he couldn't stop how impressed he was. He clapped his hands together.

 

“There is the kid that impress the hell out of me!”

 

“I think you're not saying what you’re gonna do to me because you're not going to do anything,” The boy snapped at him again. “If you knew us- if you knew  _ anything _ , you would kill me.” Negan wasn't a fan of personal space, but this kid sure was invading his.

“But you  _ can't.” _

 

Negan was one nasty comment away from killing or adopting this boy, he sure had some man sized balls.

 

“Maybe you're right,” He said, his voice almost a whisper as he tried to make himself out to be less surprised. “Maybe I can't.”

 

He stood and watched the boy move back, maybe he had finally noticed how close they were.

 

“Let’s go for a ride, kid.”

 

***

 

Carl couldn't tell what surprised him more, the fact that they did go for a ride or that Negan took him back to Alexandria. 

He was sitting between the man and another guy with a name he couldn't bring himself to remember, but he reminded Carl of a guy he had seen in a video game.

 

He spent all the time in the truck- which was more than half an hour of Negan whistling and talking just for the pleasure of hearing his own voice- trying to understand what was Negan's plan. He still couldn't get it, if he was in Negan's place and he was the one who was who got some random brat gunning down two of his men, he would kill the kid in no time. He wouldn't take him to see his home, his people, the way everything worked. He didn't understand, but he was sure that there was something behind it and he would have to discover it himself. Negan wasn't exactly an open book.

 

Once they got to Alexandria with the other truck following them, Carl didn't get to see who opened the gate for them. But once he jumped down from the truck, he had a lot of gazes on him.

 

His dad was still out, so was Michonne, and it was obvious that no one else would have the guts to get too close to Negan. So it was Carl's job to keep the man distracted unless he wanted him to start bashing people's heads in to entertain himself.

 

So, Carl took Negan on a tour of Alexandria, feeling stupid with how little he had to show. Alexandria was a good place, a ‘gated heaven’, to give it a name, but it was nothing in comparison with Negan's compound and the younger Grimes was sure Negan would get bored quickly.

 

Or that's, at least, what he thought. But much to his surprise, Negan was one of those men that enjoyed the little things. Negan got impressed by running water and feeling a carpeted floor under his bare feet. It was weird, but it let Carl see another side of the man, a much simpler one.

 

The idea of Negan not being completely an asshole disappeared in the same moment Olivia made her way to check on Judith.

 

While Negan was making the poor woman feel like shit, Carl heard footsteps upstairs, it was weird because he  _ knew _ they were the only ones in the house, and Judith didn't walk yet, nor could she climb out of her crib.

 

Then, much to his dismay, he heard someone talking to his sister. It was enough for him to turn on his heel and sprint up the stairs, uncaring of Negan asking what the hell was wrong.

 

“What a cute little soul, hey baby.” That voice just made Carl run faster.

 

He opened the door and his fist clenched when he noticed there was no one there. But there have been someone, he had heard them, and Judith stretching her little arm out in confusion just made it more obvious that there had been someone in front of her just seconds ago.

 

“Damn! Look. At. This!”

 

As if he didn't have enough problems, Negan was right behind him, maybe two or three steps behind, he could feel the man leaning against the doorway as he looked into the room, Judith now looking at them.

 

Carl got moved out of the way as Negan went in. It hit the boy like a bullet, Lucifer had done it on purpose, he almost managed to get Negan out of the house without him knowing about Judith. But it looked like the devil had other plans.

Fuck.

 

What he couldn't understand was _why_ , why would Negan knowing about Judith be something good for Lucifer? He didn't know what plan the devil had- he wasn't going to ask, either- but he was sure that Negan knowing about Judith was just some way to tell him; 

_ ‘Get your shit together or she pays the price.’ _

 

Feeling like headbutting a wall, Carl stepped into the room and stayed there, ready to fight Negan if he tried anything against Judith. He just needed a reason, just a small attempt to hurt her and Negan would be dead. But no, the man was playing with Judith, taking more care of her in that moment then Rick ever had.

  
Without excuse to kill Negan, and remembering that there were more saviours outside, Carl huffed and kept pretending he didn't want to push the man into a hoard. It was gonna be a long day.


	4. His soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan wants to play house, but he meets some 'rats' and makes a point. Carl needs a reason for not being able to kill Negan, he wasn't expecting what he saw.

The suffering didn't end when Negan found Judith. Hell no, after that everything was worse.

 

Carl was wishing earnestly for the earth to swallow him and spit him out far away from there. The Antarctica sounded like a good place, a little cold, but he would get used to it if that meant not being there in Alexandria with the man that killed his friends.

 

Because that day- and without wanting to- Carl discovered that Negan liked the idea of having a family a little too much. And because of that he and Olivia got pulled into some weird game.

 

Negan had shaved with Rick's things and had made an attempt to teach Carl how to do it, but- even if he had been paying attention in an attempt to keep Negan in that childish mood- Carl wasn't taking notes of what the man was telling him, it wasn't useful for him, he didn't have a beard or facial hair and he was almost sure that he would never grow one. The only thing that he thought that could be useful in the future was that he had to do it ‘ _ against the grain.’ _

 

After that, Negan sent Olivia to find and prepare lemonade and then told him to go find what was needed to prepare spaghetti. Carl looked around every house until he found that Gabriel had what he needed and he almost had to thank God, but a glance to someone that was right behind him- grinning and letting it be clear that he was enjoying Carl's suffering- reminded him that he couldn't do that.

 

He thanked Gabriel for the ingredients and rushed back to the house, passing beside Tara and Olivia and running to the kitchen just to discover that Negan was no longer there with Judith.

 

For some minutes, that were almost eternal, he panicked. He looked around every room in the house until he heard his sister's giggles coming from the backyard. The relief he felt was so overwhelming that it was almost as if his soul had just come back to his body.

 

Carl walked to the back door and opened it to see a scene that made his eye go wide in surprise.

 

Negan was sitting in the ground cross legged, Judith on his lap and the golden terrier from the neighbors was playing with them, barking and wagging all it’s tail. When Carl stepped out of the house, the dog looked at him and growled, his tail suddenly between his legs and his body lowered as if it were about to jump to attack him. But the dog didn't, it just turned and ran away.

 

“Shit kid, you're a party popper” Negan said as he picked Judith up and stood.“What have you done to that poor dog?”

 

Not knowing what to say, Carl shrugged. He hadn't done anything to that dog, animals just hated and feared him. Not like he cared, the only place he could find for animals in the new world was in the kitchen or over a fire, being cooked to be eaten after. But there were people at Alexandria that still wanted them as pets, and he wasn't going to be the one telling them what to do with their sacks of fur.

 

Negan walked to where he was and Carl looked up at him, the man was carrying his sister, but that didn't mean he stopped being a threat. Carl got taken aback when Negan squeezed his shoulder, moved him from in front of the door and walking past him and into the house with a smile.

 

The boy stayed there for a long moment, processing that gesture before turning on his heel and going back inside.

 

He heard Negan bossing poor Olivia around while he did something that sounded like an attempt of flirting with her. But Carl ignored it and grabbed Judith- who Negan had left playing in the living room- and tried to sneak upstairs without being seen.

 

He didn't get far before feeling that big, calloused hand on his shoulder again, pulling him backwards in a way that was surprisingly gentle and that didn't make him stumble.

 

“Where do you think you're going?” Negan asked as Carl turned to see him.

 

The hand on his shoulder left him when Negan reached to grab Judith, Carl hesitated, and he felt betrayed when Judith's chubby arms reached to Negan. Negan took her from his arms and bounced her, making Judith giggle. Then those dark eyes looked back at Carl.

 

“You and me, young man, are going to go cook some good spaghetti for the ladies.” He told him, and Carl raised a brow.

 

“I don't know how to make spaghetti.”

 

“Bullshit, you found everything needed for it, now you're helping me.” The older man stated “Now let's go, the kitchen is waiting for us.”

 

As he got pulled into the kitchen with an insistence that reminded him of a child pulling his mom somewhere, Carl wished he had a gun so he could put himself out of his misery, but that wasn't possible, Negan had taken their guns.

 

**~o~**

 

Negan was enjoying his time in Alexandria, it was so domestic that it was almost stupid. But there, sitting in Rick's front porch with the man's little girl bouncing on his lap and Rick’s only son sitting beside him, he thought that he could enjoy that domesticity.

 

He was surprised that he almost hadn't had to threaten anyone, but it gave him the hope that the Alexandrians were finally accepting their place and falling in line. Things were going to be much easier for everyone if they finally got their heads out of their own asses.

 

Negan was almost falling asleep with the baby, knowing that with his men there Carl couldn't do anything to take him down without his sister and himself ending up dead. At some point, a guy came walking to the porch, being stopped by Arat.

 

“What do you want?” His right hand woman asked the guy that Negan recognized as the man that had opened the gate for them the first time.

 

The man looked at him with a friendly look and then looked back at Arat.

 

“I came to talk with Negan,” He said, moving a bottle of alcohol in his hand.

“I want to show that not everyone here has no manners.”

 

Negan looked to his side, watching the boy's dead glare directed to this newcomer. He smiled as he bounced baby Judith to wake her up and hand her to the boy.

 

“Go on, boy, take this little girl to bed.” He told him, making it clear that it was an order.

 

Carl glanced defiantly at him, but got up once he had Judith in his arms and walked to the door. Negan's attention went back to the man once Carl disappeared into the house, he motioned for Arat to let him come closer and the guy sat beside him.

 

Negan learned that his name was Spencer and that he was the son of the woman that was in charge before Rick and his group got there. He wasn't paying attention to  _ everything  _ the guy said, but he started doing it when the guy told him he had a pool table and that they could put it on the street to play outside.

 

For some good minutes, Negan had the feeling that this guy could be a saviour in the future. But that feeling disappeared in the exact moment Spencer told him what he wanted from him; because no, Negan wasn't stupid, he knew that this guy hadn't come to talk to him just because he wanted to show his good manners, it was obvious that he wanted something.

 

What Negan wasn't expecting was that this guy -no, not guy- this  **_rat_ ** had come to him for what he had. Spencer wanted him to kill Rick so he could run the place. Negan could stand a lot of things, but a traitor wasn't one of them.

 

Negan started talking, giving his point of view about that situation and rambling a little about it. He made it clear to Spencer that he didn't like the idea of killing Rick, hell no! Rick was out there bringing good shit to him, he almost had him in line and he wouldn't kill him now, not without a good reason.

 

He was aware of how his argument with this Spencer guy bought other people's attention, and he smiled at this. Amazing, now he had an audience he could make a point in front of.

 

“You know what I think?” He asked, not giving Spencer time to respond. “I think you got no guts. Better make sure, though!”

 

He let the knife do all the work.

 

**~o~**

 

Carl was watching over Judith when Olivia came running to him, telling him that there were people crowding in front of the house. They both ran downstairs, Carl obviously being faster because the poor woman wasn't in shape. He opened the door and went out first, the first thing he spotted was the pool table, then Negan, the blood on Negan's face and just then he looked down to the ground, where Spencer lay with his guts on display.

 

“I was wrong, you did have guts!” He heard Negan say and Carl glanced at Olivia when she gasped from beside him, her face had gone pale and she was obviously horrified.

 

The younger Grimes felt the urge to tell her to go back into the house and keep an eye on Judith when he saw Lucifer was part of the crowd, just staring at what was going on with an amused look.

 

Suddenly, Rosita walked to the front of the crowd and Negan looked at her. Carl’s gaze went to Lucifer, who was looking at him with a frown, he looked back at Rosita and saw as she took a gun out of her belt and pointed at Negan.

 

_ ‘NO.’ _

 

That was the only word that went through his mind as he tapped into those abilities he never thought he’d use for something he never thought he would do, save Negan's life.

 

Carl wasn't going to deny that he sucked with his powers, he didn't know how to control them, it was more like they controlled him. But he managed to influence Rosita’s mind for the three seconds that were needed to make her miss the shot. The thing that he hadn't counted on was that the bullet was took by Lucille.

 

Everything happened so fast and Carl was too dizzy to pay much attention to it. Negan was shouting, than Rosita was pinned to the ground and was shouting too, then Negan was shouting again. Carl just switched between them, trying to focus on what was going on and noticing that Lucifer was no longer in the crowd. He managed to focus and listen carefully in the worst moment.

 

“Arat, kill someone.”

 

That had been Negan's order and Carl saw a gun being pointed at him, he stared at the woman for the second it took her to shoot and he blinked rapidly, hearing a loud thud at his blind side. He turned slowly and all the air left his lungs when he noticed Olivia on the porch floor with a clean shot into her face.

 

Carl didn't know why, he felt stupid doing it, but he kneeled beside Olivia's body and reached to touch her face, as if hoping for her to be alive. But he stopped when he heard Negan shouting his dad's name, when had Rick come back?

 

Negan was now taking to his dad, Rick giving his back to him and ignoring him completely as his attention was fixed on the leader of the Saviours. That, until Negan told him about Carl sneaking into the Sanctuary and machine gunning two of his men, Rick had turned to see his son with a look full of disbelief. The younger Grimes noticed a look that said ‘We’ll talk later’ before his dad turned back to Negan.

 

Carl just couldn't understand, why? Why would the devil want Negan? Why did he have to keep alive the man that had just killed an innocent woman because he was pissed off? What was so important about Negan that Lucifer wanted him to live?

 

He  _ needed  _ an answer, something that would make sense about this. And- for the first time since he had sold his soul to the devil- he used his powers impulsively.

 

His hair fell more over his face as he lowered his head, making sure his good eye wasn't visible so what he was going to do would go unnoticed. It was as if everything passed in slow motion as he looked at the people around him with his demonic eye. There were souls of all colors and shapes, all of them different and unique on their own, but when he took a glance of Negan's his jaw dropped open.

 

The world had stopped moving, it must have, Carl didn't felt it moving anymore, all his senses were fixed on Negan, being attracted to his soul like a moth to the light.

 

He even felt his face burning as he blinked himself back to reality and out of the dream. Negan had turned his back to them and was leaving with his men.

  
It was the exact moment- as he stared at the man's back and wished to see his soul again- that Carl knew he was fucked.


End file.
